amend

May 8, 2012 - 2 comment(s)

I have to tell you I sobbed. In the car on the way to the studio I was singing with old Patty Griffin and then I just sobbed out of left field. I told myself I was going to be a good soldier and take my lickings.

But that’s the thing about hope. It requires a piece of your heart. Belief that things can be better though I was pretty sure it would pass. When we put our civil liberties in the hands of the majority, we come away with none. That’s how it’s always worked. Amendment 1 makes it ok for my government to say I am not even “separate but equal” but lesser.

If I had the opportunity to – I would knock on every door and have a conversation. Every door. I am not scary or sick or wrong. And I carry the hope that if I could sit down with most people, they would start to see me as human too. I still have hope. Hurt by rampant ignorance. Let down by my government. Saddened at the amount of fear and the dogmatism that propels folks forward. But hopeful.

People say, let it go – the younger generation will vote it in eventually. That’s where you’re headed. But the reason younger folks are more tolerant is because brothers and sisters have died standing up and coming out. Mother’s and father’s have had their hearts broken open over their gay children, the death of those children, the discrimination of those children and they have grown bigger – grown taller, and come to stand by our sides. Allies call us friends. And we slowly erode the shores of hate. I will not wait. I will not sit quietly down. I am heart broken but I am not defeated. In my corner I have a treasure chest of comrades who know me. Friends who hold me up. A family that carries me. And a wife no one can take from me. Regardless of the wording of the law.

Today I am heartbroken. But I am not done. We have more work to do. Thank you for your service. Thank you for your efforts. You have made a difference. Because of you I have more than enough strength to Carry On.

our celebration with close family in madison co NC

in NY – after being married by the clerk of courts.

Another Gratitude Friday

May 4, 2012 - 0 comment(s)

Some of you have been kind enough to tell me that you miss the gratitude friday series. And as it’s been a really moving week, I’m overflowing with gratitude so I thought we’d do this again. Also, I’m neck-high in intense upcoming events & stress -it’s always fulfilling to be grateful for a minute.

This week I’m grateful for:

Brides with an outstanding sense of humor. Do y’all know about mascara yoga? I didn’t either but it’s some good stuff.

The garden.

Red: Poppies. Fabric. Hearts.

My Makeup at the Grove team. Wow. Thank you.

Facebook? Yes. Sorry. Facebook. Y’all have overwhelmed me and uplifted so many folks in our fight against Amendment 1.

Baptists. That love their neighbors.

A cd. Getting me through. And Alabama Shakes’ Hold On in particular.

Holy Basil.

Fantastic models who are also pals.

Coffee.

Ideas in the studio. And knowing when to scrap them.

Surrender. Even though I’m not any bit of good at it.

Salem Academy. The outpouring of support from my Salem sisters has been incredible. My 4 years there were magical, full of hard work, and amazing lessons. And I came away changed. Thank you all.

My daddy.

My momma.

And the rest of my family & friends. Most grateful for y’all. Because every day, you continue to rise. You continue to show up. You continue to bring me to my knees in prayers of gratitude.

Witness

May 1, 2012 - 3 comment(s)

My first hero. I was 12. She was 16. And we were total kindred spirits. Gal was so unequivocally unabashedly herself. She walked just as she was. That’s the thing about heros. They help you to be.

And she came to Asheville with her lovely man today for a secret elopement. We’d made an olive silk dress and grabbed some flowers from the garden and they got hitched at the court house. And we were blessed to be there. We were blessed to be their witnesses. We were uplifted by our local officiant. Love. In all things. That’s the message.

Deanna & Kyle. Blessings. May your road be filled with laughter & immense love.

Photos & co-witnessing by Apple. (Ashley Fleetwood)

Humbled

May 1, 2012 - 1 comment(s)

I shared a little ditty about a conversation I had with my dad yesterday on facebook. Just a bit of why he called and what was said about NC’s proposed Amendment 1. And I can’t tell you what happened -the response was overwhelming. I don’t know exactly except to say, I shared the better parts of humanity. I’ve been more eloquent. God knows I’ve waxed on at length. But I think maybe it’s just the simpler truth of what it is to be human. And to love one another. Regardless.

This is what was said. By all means – pass it on:

It’s a hard monday. And then my dad called. And I thought I’d share. Because we’re all a little sad at the state of things. My daddy is one large republican cowboy. I’ll say it again: Republican Cowboy. He didn’t spare the rod, or go easy on most anything. He always said he loved us enough to teach us right versus wrong. Including that faggots weren’t friends. And then I grew up to be one. Today he called me for the 3rd day in a row. And he finally got to his point. “So sis, what’s this thing about amendments?” And I talked at him. And he listened. And then he said, “Just tell me- how to vote to take care of you.” And I said, well that vote hasn’t come around yet. But if you’d vote No then I’ll at least not have more of my few rights eroded. He said Ok. He said he loved me. About 6 times. He is different. Change happens folks. One person at a time.

Dad & me at my wedding celebration to my lovely wife.

And his toast. He said 3 words: “To Unconditional Love.”

I wrote a post about civil rights issues last June when NY passed their marriage equality law. You can read that post here: http://unabashedapparel.com/2011/06/28/rights-unchained/

a gratitude friday

Apr 27, 2012 - 4 comment(s)

It’s friday. I’m finding I need to share my gratitudes this week. For the month and the year so far.

I’m grateful for:

Grace, Graciousness, and Gracia.

Prayer.

Finding peace in a storm.

Solace. In movement. In silence. In friendship.

Work to do.

Creativity.

The muses. When you need them.

Thunderstorms.

Runs to set us right.

Firefighters who rescue.

Apple’s who give us good medicine.

The return of old kindred comrades. And their infectious laugh.

Dance parties on friday morning. That Vega thinks she can dance too.

The heart. Being bigger. Than you think.

The sunrise. Every morn.

Superstition Irises finally blooming.