Journal

  1. 03. (i promise i’ll go back to making pretty dresses real soon)

    neighbors

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    On this New Year’s eve I keep thinking of what my Sapphire used to tell me: “God promised to make you free, he didn’t say he’d make you independent.” 

  2. 04. I’m scared, not sore.

     

    Yesterday Vega ran off. I found her deep in the neighbors low-electric fence pasture on the other side of our busy road. She’d been shocked by the wire and was no sooner coming to me or getting out of that place than a kid coming back for another whooping. I yelled and screamed and felt how my fear reaction has become a hair trigger. In the country, a dog on the wrong side of anybody’s fence isn’t a great look. As I was making my way towards Vega my other dog almost got hit in the road coming after us as. I was yelling for Gracia to come grab him but she was in the house completely deaf to my pickle. I started to freak out. Why was this so difficult? I found a low spot in the fence and jumped it. I ran after her slinking hoodlumness and then drug her to the fence line. Now what? I picked all 75 pounds of her bodily up and threw her over and across the fence & into the road. My heart was racing. I jumped the fence myself and started escorting her home. A truck slowed way down behind me. I waved, not looking back. They glided past confederate flag flying on a large pole off the back of their truck bed. They turned around. They drove slowly back my way. They whistled. I wept. 

     

    The pressure we put on our family and friends to do better & be kinder, well that is also how we govern our society. Who we chose to be our heroes and our voice shows what we too are trying to be. Who we elect shows what we condone.

    I have voted 5 times for president, countless times in smaller elections & my guy or gal rarely wins. But I have never been afraid for my family and my friends before. I’ve never cried. 

    Hope in dark places:

    2 Anthems, because I’m a soulful country girl mine sound like this:

     

    (I tried to find a non-80s pop star version & couldn’t. And then I thought, hey – some cheese is probly good for us.)

     

     

    and this, always this:

     

    These are the quotes I have found uplifting and galvanizing.

    “Freedom fighters do not always win, but they’re always right.”  -Molly Ivins

    “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself, whatever has to be done it is always your choice.” Wayne Dyer

    “Fall down seven times, get up eight.” 

    There are harder times coming  & so I’m repeating this:

    “Fate whispers to the warrior, ‘You are not strong enough for the storm.’ The warrior whispers back, ‘I am the storm.'” 

     

    If you want to know my ideas for what you can do, email me. 

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© 2016 Sarahbeth Larrimore

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